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By Diane Griffith, HealthAtoZ writer
Bob is 50 years old, divorced and living alone. After a stressful day at work, Bob heads home, heats up a frozen dinner and relaxes in front of the television, where he eventually falls asleep.
Sue is a 45-year-old widow who also lives alone. She, too, has had a bad day at work. Instead of going home to an empty house, she calls and asks a friend to meet her for dinner. They go out, talk about the day and share a few laughs.
Although Bob and Sue both had stressful days and both found ways to relax afterwards, Bob's way of dealing with stress increases his risk of developing a serious illness. Why? Because people who isolate themselves socially are less healthy than those who surround themselves with friends.
Health and social ties
A person who feels a sense of belonging has a better chance of staying healthy than someone who is isolated and doesn't have a support system. In addition, a person with strong social bonds who does get sick has a better chance of surviving a serious illness. People who don't have such friendships or family ties are more likely to develop illnesses that lead to death.
Why does this happen? One reason is that having social support affects your immune system and the activity of your natural killer cells. Conversely, people with solid support systems have stronger, more resilient immune systems. This could be because friends and family members encourage each other to take care of themselves, persuade one another to change unhealthy lifestyles and help each other during illnesses and difficult times.
People with strong friendships are known to suffer less from depression, anxiety and other forms of mental illness. The elderly are less likely to suffer from dementia when they have satisfying relationships. Seniors with friends have a lower risk for disabling health problems and recover faster when they become ill than those who are isolated.
Research has shown that people who live alone have twice the risk of dying than those with companions. These bonds do not have to be limited to humans - pet owners are known to have fewer illnesses and recover from serious illnesses faster than those without pets.
Failure to thrive
Perhaps the best evidence of the power of social ties is known as "failure to thrive." When babies are emotionally abandoned - that is their physical needs are taken care of, but they are not held, cuddled, spoken to or bonded with - their pituitary glands do not produce enough growth hormone. Many of these babies die before they are toddlers and the ones who do survive suffer emotionally.
Men, women and stress
In times of stress, men react to the fight or flight response. The body prepares itself to either fight or to flee quickly from a threatening situation. Women, on the other hand, seek emotional support in the face of danger. A woman will stay to protect her children rather than flee from a stressful situation. She will also gather with other women.
This aspect - gathering with other women - may be the key as to why women outlive men. Since friendships seem to reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol, the bonds that women form in times of stress really may be lifesaving.
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External Sources
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Harvard School of Public Health
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Brigham and Women's Hospital
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Mentalhealthconsumers.org
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This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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