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Who is educating your child about safe sex practices and the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases? It should be you, because research suggests children want to learn about their sexuality from their parents, says Kim Miller, Ph.D., a senior research sociologist in the Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
CDC research shows children are more likely to discuss risks with their sexual partners and more likely to use condoms if their parents have talked to them about sex, Miller says.
"If you don't talk to your kids about sex, your message is not getting heard," Miller says. "A lot of times, parents are waiting for their kids to ask. But a lot of times, kids don't ask, so it's important to start talking." Developing trust with your child by keeping the lines of communication open is essential.
The CDC estimates that 40,000 persons become infected with HIV each year. Currently, there are more than one million Americans living with HIV/AIDS in addition to millions more worldwide.
What to do and how
Be a good role model for your child. He or she will learn the most about sexuality from your example. Here are more suggestions about how you can be a good resource of reliable information about sexual activity, HIV and AIDS for your children:
- Talk early and often. Your children start hearing sexual innuendos through TV, movies and music at a young age, and their knowledge of sex is far less than their curiosity, Miller says. Studies show that educating children about condoms before they become sexually active leads to greater use of condoms as they grow older, Miller says. Discuss the virtues of abstinence with your child.
- Be truthful and open. Find out what the child knows first by asking. Start with simple concepts and use as few words as possible. Studies show that educating children about condoms before they become sexually active leads to greater use of condoms as they grow older, Miller says.
- Monitor your child's activities. Studies show children are less likely to be involved in sexually risky behavior if their parents keep track of where they are, what they are doing and whom they are with, Miller says. At the same time, remember to respect the child's privacy.
- Be prepared and be a good listener. Be there for your children when they have questions. Listen and be ready with an age-appropriate answer. If your children ask about your experiences, explain that it's your personal business. "Many parents don't talk because they are afraid of what their kids may ask them," Miller says.
- Find the right time to start a discussion. A sexually suggestive comment in a TV show or movie can be turned into the basis of a conversation if you ask your child about their reaction. Miller says she created a "teachable moment" with her daughter when they saw two giraffes mating at a zoo.
- Instill confidence in your child. Children who are self-confident are more likely to reject peer pressure and say no to sex.
What your child should know about HIV/AIDS
- Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is the last stage of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).
- Reassure your child that AIDS is preventable with the right knowledge and behavior.
- There must be an exchange of blood, semen or vaginal secretions to get HIV. This is most likely to happen during unprotected sexual intercourse, sharing IV drug needles or being born to a mother with HIV.
- The best way to avoid getting HIV is not to have anal, vaginal or oral sex, or use IV drugs. Practicing safe sex can reduce your risk if you do engage in these activities.
- You can't get HIV from kissing or from casual contact, such as sharing eating utensils or towels. It is rare to get HIV from a blood transfusion or a medical procedure because all blood is now screened.
- You can have HIV and not know it. Symptoms may not develop for 10 years.
- There is no cure for HIV disease presently. Eventually, it is fatal.
This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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