A New Year's Resolution for Your Emotional Health

Have you made your New Year's resolutions yet? If you're like most people, you've probably pledged to exercise more, eat more fruits and vegetables, eat less junk food or get more sleep.

Surprisingly, most of us think about improving our physical health this time of year, but give little thought to our emotional health. If you've suffered a trauma, the loss of a loved one or some other hardship, there are ways to strengthen your thinking so you don't let the distressing events in your life control your destiny.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to adapt to trauma, tragedy, adversity and stress - such as serious illness, the death of a loved one, a divorce or the loss of a job. It's the ability to bounce back when life knocks you down.

Resilience gets us through the low points in our lives. Some of us are naturally resilient, while others have to work at it. Whether or not you possess this quality, changing the way you think can help you deal with the stress and trauma that life throws your way.

The people who are most resilient have:

• A network of loving and supportive friends and family members
• Confidence in their abilities
• Good problem-solving skills
• The ability to make plans and carry them out
• Good communication skills
• The ability to handle their feelings and impulses

Building resilience

If you don't have these qualities, it doesn't mean you can't develop them. Here are some tips for building your resilience:

• Establish good relationships. Be able to accept the help and support of those close to you. Build new relationships by joining a church, community or support group.
• Don't see a crisis as insurmountable. When things seem hopeless, try to look to the future and envision that things will get better.
• Accept change as a part of life. You may have to let go of your previous goals, but you can still establish new ones. Try to do something positive each day to move closer to your new goal, even if it means taking baby steps.
• Be decisive. If you're involved in a bad situation, take action to change it instead of ignoring it or hoping it will go away on its own.
• Find opportunities for self discovery. Look inward to see how your life experiences have changed you for the better. Have they made you stronger? Have they strengthened your personal relationships? Have you become more spiritual because of them? Try to find the silver lining.
• Keep a positive view of yourself. Trust your instincts. Believe that you can solve problems and survive painful events.
• Keep your perspective. When things get difficult, try to see your life realistically and not as being worse than it is.
• Keep your outlook positive. During the low points, believe that good times are ahead. Visualize what you want in the future and trust that you will have it. Don't imagine the worst.
• Take care of yourself. Relax and do what you enjoy. Don't neglect your own needs. Exercise regularly. Keep both your mind and body healthy.
• Write it down. Express your thoughts in writing to help you deal with your feelings.
• Laugh. Find humor in stressful situations. Laughter really can be the best medicine.

Related Articles Helping Kids Cope With Tragedy Losing a Parent, Spouse or Child Avoiding the Rocks in Marriage Job Loss May Cause Depression

External Sources American Psychological Association National Association for Mental Health

This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.

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