Children May Learn Eating Disorders By Melissa Tennen, HealthAtoZ writer
Her father loved to eat. Maybe too much. But never would he have imagined his young daughter, Molly, was watching and that some day she would find herself overwhelmed by anorexia, a potentially deadly eating disorder. Yet that's precisely what happened. "I always had this irrational fear that if he is out of control, then I might do the same," Molly Bartholomew, 21, said. "To see him overeat made me feel uncomfortable." And Molly isn't the only one watching her parents. Children as young as 5 are developing eating disorders and think of themselves as fat. And they are learning this behavior from weight-obsessed parents. However, experts are starting to see that the problem may be even worse. "I had a mother who was going to the bathroom to vomit. Her 2-year-old was going to the bathroom and pretending to throw up," said Vivian Hanson Meehan, president of the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. "If the mother's whole concern is on her body, then the child is going to assume that it's the most important thing in the world," Meehan said. Alarming numbers The number of dieting women has risen by 300 percent in the past 30 years. Alarmingly, the number of dieting teenagers has jumped by a staggering 1,300 percent, according to Debra Waterhouse, author of the book Outsmarting the Mother Daughter Food Trap and a registered dietitian. Parents who aspire to be like that bony television actress shimmying into a size 4 and tag foods like cheese as "bad" may be unintentionally sending the wrong message to their children. And they might not even realize it. Parents say things like: "Oh, I have thunder thighs." They tell friends that they are "being good" by not noshing on those brownies and even scold their children for eating too much. "If parents skip meals or take food substitutes, the message that kids get is that it's okay to skip meals, that food is fattening or is somehow scary," said Abigail H. Natenshon, a psychotherapist and author of "When Your Child Has an Eating Disorder." A recent study in the Journal of Nutrition showed that when moms chose soda instead of milk, their daughters did, too. And that amounted to an average deficit of 150 mg of calcium each day for the children. Eating disorder facts are frightening, too: At least 8 million women suffer from eating disorders, and 6 percent die of complications from eating disorders each year. One million men suffer from eating disorders-the number of cases having doubled during the last decade. Cyberspace becoming teenage wasteland Not only do parents need to watch their own behaviors and attitudes but they also need to become aware of what their kids are reading on the Web. "One of the important things to realize is that there are pro-anorexia sites on the web," said Katie Brase, a spokeswoman for the National Eating Disorders Association. "Young girls are drawn to the sites." These sites claim that starvation and reduction in calories is a noble behavior. At an age when these girls are impressionable and their self-confidence may be shaky, this message could devastate their perceptions about eating and body image, Brase says. "It's like putting a loaded gun into the hands of someone who is suicidal," Brase says. The National Eating Disorders Association offers tips for parents to prevent eating disorders in their children.
- Consider your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors toward your body and the way that these beliefs have been shaped by sexism. Then educate your children about diverse body shapes.
- Maintain positive, healthy attitudes and behaviors. Children learn by what you say and do.
- Discuss the dangers of trying to alter one's body shape through dieting, the value of moderate exercise for health and the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals eaten three times a day. Try not to categorize foods into "good/safe/no-fat or low-fat" and "bad/dangerous/fattening." Be a good role model with sensible eating, exercise and self-acceptance.
- Try not to avoid activities such as swimming and dancing simply because they call attention to your weight and shape.
- Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and grow stronger and not as a way to purge fat from your body or to burn calories. Encourage your children to be active just for the fun of it and not as a weight reducer.
- Do not limit your child's caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do so because of a medical problem.
- Practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel and do instead of how slender or "well put together" they appear.
- Help children appreciate and resist the ways that television, magazines and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, popularity or perfection.
- Educate boys and girls about various forms of prejudice and help them understand their responsibilities for preventing them.
- Do whatever you can to promote self-esteem and self-respect of all of your children in intellectual, athletic and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. Be careful not to suggest that females are less important than males. For example, don't exempt males from housework or childcare. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to dieting and disordered eating.
Sources: The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders The National Eating Disorders Association American Obesity Association
This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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