Time's Up! Help for the Punctually Challenged

Do you keep people waiting at restaurants, theater lobbies and conference rooms? Are your excuses for lateness running thin?

People tend to have a regular pattern of being on time or late. And those who are always late seem to share certain problems. Being late shows a lack of respect for someone else's time. It is a failure to honor a commitment. Frequent lateness can lessen your credibility and put a strain on relationships.

Friends and family who are inconvenienced by lateness may become angry and resentful. At work, people who don't meet deadlines may not get ahead or even keep their jobs. You may disappoint yourself, too, if your tardiness ruins an occasion or project.

But whether you're the late person or the "wait person," there is hope. Chronic lateness is treatable, say behavior experts. Punctuality is a habit that can be developed with self-discipline and organization.

Why are you running late?
Many of us lead jam-packed lives and get off schedule for that reason. Other factors related to chronic tardiness:

• Getting easily distracted. Anything in your path may cause delays. This is a big problem for people with attention-deficit disorder.
• Being disorganized. You're on your way, but then you can't find your keys or you forgot to get directions.
• Feeling anxious. If you are dreading a trip to the dentist or don't want to take that test, you're more likely to be late.
• Needing control. Maybe you make others wait as a way to assert dominance and power.
• Having hidden anger. Being late can be a passive-aggressive way to punish someone.
• Saying "I'm important." Do you plan "fashionably late" arrivals to get attention?

In one study, certain personality traits predicted punctuality or lateness. People who tended to seek immediate gratification or enjoy the adrenaline rush of doing things at the last minute were in the tardy group. It's no surprise that those identified as being conscientious landed in the punctual group. People in the group who often arrived much earlier than needed were linked to one of two traits: being agreeable or being neurotic.

No more excuses
The first step in conquering tardiness is to recognize how it affects others. Think about the message being sent when you make people wait: "I matter more than you do" or "You can't count on me."

Once you acknowledge that lateness is a problem:

• Make a commitment to yourself to be punctual.
• Plan ahead. Those who are always late underestimate how long it takes to do things. Add extra minutes for traffic delays. Lay out your clothes in advance. Go to bed earlier if you can't get up in the morning.
• Set an alarm or two on your watch, computer or clock radio. Move up the time a few minutes if that helps. If you use a day planner, refer to it frequently.
• Organize. Put your purse, keys, lunch and briefcase near the door. Make sure your gas tank is full. Take out the garbage the night before.
• Don't get snagged by "one last thing to do" before you leave. If you're running early, bring something to read once you get to your destination.
• Try to be 15 minutes early. You may find that you'll be right on time then!

Habits are formed by repetition. Practice being on time for several weeks and you may soon find yourself running like clockwork.

Related Articles Adults Suffer from ADHD Running Around Like Crazy? Stop!

External Sources National Resource Center on AD/HD. Time management: learning to use a day planner. Accessed November 8, 2007. Back MD, Schmukle SC, Egloff B. Who is late and who is early? Big five personality factors and punctuality in attending psychological experiments. Journal of Research in Personality. 2006;40:841-848. Accessed November 8, 2007.

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