Saying Bye-Bye to Baby: Dealing With Separation Anxiety

It's a roller coaster of emotions. Your baby screams every time you leave the room. Is this normal? Will it ever end?

This is called separation anxiety, which is a normal developmental phase for babies. Between the ages of 8 to 14 months, your baby starts to notice when you aren't there. The crying begins when you leave, even if it's just for a few minutes. This phase doesn't last for long - usually going away during the last half of your baby's second year.

Yet it can be heartbreaking for you. You may feel like you are hurting your child. You may feel guilty. You may even feel suffocated with all that love. Remember that this is a normal phase of development, and it shows you that your baby's love for you is immense. You are the person your baby has bonded with the most and loves deeply and dearly.

You can learn to cope with it. Just love your baby and shower him with warmth and affection. Here are some tips to help you get through this.

• The best time to leave your baby is after feedings or naps. If your baby is sick, try to stay with her as much as possible. The separation anxiety may be worse when your child doesn't feel well.
• Don't make a fuss about leaving. Give your baby a quick kiss and hug goodbye. Have your caregiver distract your baby with a toy or a book, then leave quickly.
• Don't go back after you've left. Tears are short-lived. Your baby will cry for only a few minutes. Returning may make the separation harder for you and your baby.
• Try short practice sessions. Before you leave the room, tell your child where you are going and that you'll be back. When you leave the room and your baby starts to cry, call his name from the next room to provide reassurance that you haven't left for good.
• If you have to leave your child with a new babysitter or in new day care center, play with the baby for a few minutes before leaving.
• Keep separations as infrequent as possible.
• Leave your baby with someone she knows, such as a relative or close family friend.

Some children have trouble being separated from parents at bedtime. Cuddle with your baby as much as possible before bedtime. If your child cries after you leave the room, comfort your baby, but don't stay until he falls asleep.

As difficult as this may be for you, remember that this is a phase your child will outgrow. Some babies will have a harder time than others.

Source:

The American Academy of Pediatrics

This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.