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By Terry Salge, HealthAtoZ writer
What do you think when you see a dad and his child at a supermarket, mall or strolling down the sidewalk? "How nice of him to give mom a break!," or "What a nice husband!"
Stay-at-home dads are becoming more commonplace. Children bond with their mothers while still in the womb, but need to learn who dad is. For stay-at-home dads, this happens more quickly.
New fathers fall into several categories:
- "Traditional" dads who are the "breadwinners" and leave caregiving to the moms.
- Dads who have jobs, but accept more responsibility in caregiving and spend evenings and weekends with their families.
- Fathers who grasp caregiving full force and stay at home full time with their children.
Many stay-at-home dads leave their jobs to care for their children. Others leave their positions because - since their partners have the higher salaries - they are the logical ones to stay home. Still others work from home. Some parents alternate shifts so they can both stay home with their children and hold jobs.
The transition is hardest for a dad who is laid off from his job and is basically forced into the caregiver role. Men are used to being the breadwinners of the family - the providers. Waking up each day, preparing for work and leaving the home are no longer the goals. The dad now wakes up, throws on some sweats and feeds the family while mom prepares for work and leaves him to care for the home. While his new role gives him a chance to be nurturing, gentle and downright silly on a daily basis, it isn't as easy as it seems. Patience, cooperation, creativity - and more patience - are required, as well as the ability to laugh a lot.
Key points to remember:
- Patience is a virtue. You'll need tons of it!
- Laughter is the best medicine. A sense of humor will help get you through the hard times.
- Understand that worrying is normal. Keep it in check and you'll be fine.
- Upper body strength is a must - you'll clock more miles walking the halls with your ill, distressed or unhappy child than you would running a marathon.
The rewards of parenthood are obvious - don't be denied the opportunity to bond with your child. However, men are accustomed to getting together with the guys just to socialize. Caring for a new baby can put you in a unique position. If friends don't have kids, they may be less inclined to hang out and discuss dirty diapers. Isolation may become an issue.
Get out as much as possible. Shopping, walking through a mall or just strolling down the street with your child will help alleviate any feelings of isolation.
Children are amazing little human beings who can turn your world upside down while melting your heart at the same time. The more time you spend with your children, the better persons they will become and the more rewarding it will be for you. Laundry can wait - microwaves are great. Read a book, enjoy a game or go out and play. These times are irreplaceable.
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External Source
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FatherWork at Brigham Young University
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This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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