Could You Be a Stay-at-Home Dad?

For some couples, the decision to have one parent stay home to take care of the family is an easy one. For others, it may be more complex if both parents enjoy their jobs and have lucrative, high-powered careers. It used to be that the woman always quit her job to take care of baby. Today, more and more fathers are becoming stay-at-home dads.

Nearly 160,000 fathers were the primary caregivers at home in 2006. Would an arrangement like this be right for your family?

Consider the details: Can you afford it?
Being able to get by on just one income every month is half the battle. The costs of daycare, business attire and dry cleaning, working lunches, commuting and taxes might eat up much of dad's salary. In this case, it makes sense for him to stay home. But will mom's job provide health benefits and disability insurance? If dad stays home for more than a couple of years, will her income allow both parents to save enough for retirement? Another thing to consider is life insurance. Both parents should have policies - not just the one who works.

Make the decision together
Finances are just one factor for couples to consider. Here are some other things you should talk about:

• Is dad's personality suited to taking care of the kids? He should have a trial run of a few full days to look after the children and make sure he's up to the task.
• Can both parents cope with the change in dynamics? Dads may start to feel as though they're becoming housewives. Moms will feel the pressure of being the sole provider for the family. How will you deal with these role shifts?
• Will taking time off now derail dad's career? Some jobs lend themselves more to a "stay-at-home sabbatical" than others. If dad takes off a few years to be with the family, will he be able to get back on his previous job track? Or can he use the time to study or train for a new career?
• Does mom's career have staying power? If dad takes himself out of the workforce, it's important for mom's job to be stable and have good growth potential. She should also be prepared to sacrifice some job flexibility down the line, like not being able to take a lesser-paid but more appealing job.
• Is mom okay with letting dad handle day-to-day parenting decisions? Both parents should be on the same page about how dad and the kids will spend their days together. They must also agree on the methods they'll use to discipline and reward the kids.
• Will you be okay with questions and criticism about your choice? Some people believe it is the mother's role to raise the kids. They may perceive a stay-at-home dad as "less manly." Couples need to be prepared to respond to traditional views in a confident way.

Stay connected
Some fathers who take on the role of primary caregiver feel isolated because there are far more stay-at-home moms than dads. Online message boards and blogs for stay-at-home dads can be helpful resources. Fathers can share their experiences, tips and advice and even get to know other dads in their local area.

Bottom line: Research suggests that most dads who decide to stay home with the kids are happy with that choice. And, they find ways to keep their professional connections and skills current for when they do decide to return to their careers.

Related Articles The Joys of Stay-At-Home Fatherhood

External Sources U.S. Census Bureau. Parents and children in stay-at-home parent family groups: 1994 to present. Accessed January 22, 2008. American Psychological Association. Stay-at-home dads report high job satisfaction. Accessed January 22, 2008.

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