Caring for an Ill Spouse

Soon after a husband or wife is diagnosed with a long-term illness, dynamics between the couple can change. Stress levels are bound to rise. But partners who become caregivers can cut down on stress and help their partners face challenges with more confidence through early planning.

Work adjustments
People who work and provide care at the same time may find they have trouble focusing or completing tasks. They may also go through mood swings that leave coworkers confused or nervous about working with them.

Leading your spouse's health care team may be like having a second full-time job. Close to two-thirds of all caregivers for adult family members adjust their work lives to fulfill these new duties. Some cut back hours and some decide to resign.

Employees at companies of 50 people or more may qualify for time off under the Family and Medical Leave Act. This federal law generally requires that employees caring for sick family members (or themselves) be allowed up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave.

Financial planning
A spouse's long-term illness can hurt family finances. There may be a sudden loss of income or a mountain of medical bills. Financial planning may let you offset this loss if you start early on. Time and energy spent managing money can be tiring and it can divert attention from other important matters.

A financial planner can map out strategies for you. Find someone who has experience handling money issues related to long-term illness. Do not turn over complete control of funds. Use a planner to help maximize your income, pay bills and rebuild bank accounts.

Commit to keeping good financial and medical records. This can make it easier to tackle bills and insurance paperwork. Financial and legal experts, as well as trusted friends, can advise you on which matters should come first.

Seeking assistance
Your income and insurance may not cover all expenses during a long illness. It is a good idea to review the limits of your insurance. The costs of transportation, child care, food or rent often fall outside coverage.

Your family may be entitled to assistance by law. Hospital and social workers can help connect you with the right government agencies and nonprofits to ask.

If it looks like you could run out of money, talk to your creditors about payment options. Utility and mortgage companies may be willing to work out payment plans before a crisis. Hospital business offices may also offer payment plans.

Community groups can assist with car rides, housing, home care and hospice. Get recommendations through:

• Your spouse's health care team
• Hospital social workers and discharge coordinators
• Libraries
• Houses of worship
• YM/YWCAs
• Service clubs
• County government
• The Internet

Research the illness
Couples should go through diagnosis, treatment and recovery together. Careful discussions will help you make wiser and more confident decisions together. Keep a folder on your partner's information for use during doctor visits. Make a list of questions to ask doctors, nurses, social workers, specialists or even pharmacists.

Learn about your mate's condition and the treatment options. You may learn more by talking to the health care team yourself. Information for patients and caregivers can be interpreted differently. The insight will help you provide the support your spouse needs to handle treatments better.

Planning and commitment can raise your rank from private to general in the battle against your spouse's long-term illness. Taking these steps may give you both more strength to fight the disease together.

Related Articles Coping with Caregiver Stress Caring for the Caregiver Get the Whole Family Involved in Caregiving If You Are the Caregiver

External Sources American Cancer Society. Caregiving: How to care for a loved one with cancer - and yourself. Accessed November 14, 2007. National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA). Caregiving statistics: statistics on family caregivers and family caregiving. Accessed November 14, 2007. Cancer Care. Get help: financial assistance. Accessed November 15, 2007. American Cancer Society. How to find a financial professional sensitive to cancer issues. Accessed November 19, 2007. American Cancer Society. Financial guidance for cancer survivors and their families. Accessed November 19, 2007. Cancer Care. Get help: helping hand resource guide. Accessed November 19, 2007. Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization. Husbands: 10 ways to be there when your wife has breast cancer. Accessed November 20, 2007. Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization. When the woman you love has breast cancer. Accessed November 20, 2007. American Cancer Society. Communicating concerns and feelings. Accessed October 18, 2007. Cancer Caregiving/National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health. Starting conversations: How I'd like to help. Accessed October 20, 2007.

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