Communicating With Someone Who Has Dementia

Those with dementia often have trouble finding the right words to express themselves. This can cause frustration, anger and even aggressive behavior.

The good news is that there are ways to avoid frustration by making communication easier. First, it's important to check with your relative's physician to make sure these difficulties aren't caused by medication or an unrelated health problem.

Symptoms
If your relative is doing the following, chances are that he or she is having word-finding difficulty:

• Using familiar words repeatedly
• Cursing
• Having trouble logically organizing words
• Losing his or her train of thought
• Relying on nonverbal gestures
• Making up words to describe objects

Avoiding aggressive behavior
If you begin to notice these problems, you may also notice some aggression. Fortunately, verbal assaults from someone with dementia are more common than physical ones. When your loved one feels her personal space is being invaded (for instance when dressing, bathing or visiting the doctor), her anger may become more apparent.

Having to make choices may cause frustration. Instead of asking "Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?," simply choose a shirt and say, "Put this on." If your loved one has an outburst while trying to accomplish a task, remain calm and stop the task. Don't argue or punish him. Redirect his attention to another activity, speaking in a calm, soothing voice. Know what situations cause frustration and avoid them as much as possible.

The following tips can help you and your loved one communicate more effectively:

• Watch your body language. Make sure it is relaxed and reassured.
• Limit distractions. Turn off radios and TVs. Address her by name and remind her of your name and relation.
• Use simple, short sentences. State your message clearly. Rephrase the question if he doesn't understand.
• Try to ask simple questions that can be answered with a "yes" or "no" response. Ask them one at a time. Do not give her too many choices.
• Be patient. Give him time to put his answer into words. If he struggles, help him.
• Break tasks down into steps. If she forgets a step, remind her gently. Help with the tasks she can no longer accomplish on her own.
• Provide affection and reassurance. If your loved one confuses reality, don't argue or try to convince him he's wrong. For instance, if he says that he's waiting for his mother to pick him up, say, "Your mother used to pick you up every day, didn't she?"
• Write notes and provide reminders. Leave written directions in clear language or leave pointers on how to do simple tasks. For instance, lay clothes out on her bed in the order that she should put them on.
• Reminisce. Your loved one may not remember what happened in the last hour, but may remember incidents from 40 years ago. Ask questions about his distant past rather than what happened earlier in the day. Share memories, photos and funny stories.
• Laugh. Use humor to keep things light. Your loved one will still enjoy socializing and laughing. Remember not to laugh at her.
• Show respect. Don't talk down to your loved one or talk about him as if he isn't present. This can cause him to feel isolated and excluded.

Related Articles Dementia The Warning Signs of Alzheimer's When to Worry About Forgetting

External Sources Alzheimer's Association. Communication. Accessed April 25, 2007. Alzheimer's Society. Communicating. Accessed April 25, 2007.

Search