Not Tonight, Dear: Low Libido and Aging

Your sex life was once hot, hot, hot. Now, your spouse falls into bed and it's all over - or maybe your own sexual temperature has dropped a few degrees.

Low libido (sex drive) is a common sexual complaint, especially in women. Couples who have been together for years may become bored with the sameness of their relationship. Uneven sexual desire is normal and is bound to happen sometimes in older couples.

A decline in sex drive can be expected. If your mate shows less interest than before, don't assume something is wrong with you. Shifting hormone levels can lower your sex drive after age 50.

Keep in mind that a lack of sexual desire is only a problem if it bothers you or your partner. There are many other ways to be intimate with each other besides sexual activities.

What's love got to do with it?
Love often has little to do with low libido. Don't blame yourself if your mate has lost interest. Age is seldom the sole cause of waning sexual interest. Other factors that can diminish sex drive are:

• Poor health. It's normal to lose interest in sex when you're ill. You may be tired, in pain or just not feeling well. You may also have too many medical worries on your mind. Once you are feeling better, sexual interest may return.
• Emotional issues. A loss of desire can be a sign of depression or anxiety. Financial stress, physical problems or the deaths of people close to you can affect your mood.
• Performance anxiety. You or your mate may avoid sex because of performance problems related to age. Impotence can cause embarrassment. Vaginal dryness can cause pain.
• Hormones. A woman's testosterone level affects sex drive. At age 50, the level of this hormone is half what it was at age 25. Shifting hormone levels affect men, too, but at a later age.
• Body image. Wrinkles, gray hair, extra pounds and other signs of aging can make you feel less attractive. If you don't view yourself as desirable, your sexual interest may start to decline.
• Biological causes. Diseases of the adrenal, pituitary and thyroid glands can affect sex drive. Chronic kidney failure, Parkinson's disease, head injury, hepatitis and stroke can lower your sex drive. So can drugs for treating cancer, heartburn, depression and anxiety.

Some like it hot: getting help
Either partner can feel pressured by the other's greater sexual needs. Talk about the problem together. Don't try to mind-read. For instance, don't just assume that your mate finds you unattractive.

A doctor or counselor can help you resolve many causes of low libido. He or she may try:

• Changing a medication or its dosage
• Treating sexual problems, such as impotence or vaginal dryness
• Testosterone replacement therapy
• Treating a disease that affects your sex drive
• Individual counseling for depression or anxiety
• Couples counseling for relationship issues
• Sex therapy to improve communication or teach you new techniques to please each other

You're never too old to rekindle passion and closeness with someone you love.

Related Articles Sexual Dysfunction A Widespread Problem Spice up Your Sex Life Lower Sex Drive Illness and Other Conditions Affecting Sexuality

External Sources University of Michigan Health System. Patching up low libido: Study examines testosterone in women. Accessed June 15, 2007. New York Times. A lively libido isn't reserved for the young. April 10, 2007. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Male sexual problems. Accessed June 15, 2007. University of Michigan Health System. Sexual problems and aging. Accessed June 15, 2007. American Cancer Society. What is a normal sex life? Accessed June 15, 2007.

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