Safe Sex at Any Age

Divorced and widowed adults who are starting to date again need to know it can be dangerous out there. Once, an unplanned pregnancy was the greatest fear of those having sex. Today, intimate couples face an increased threat of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including AIDS.

One unsafe sexual contact is all it takes. You can get a disease like herpes or genital warts that you will always have, or an infection that can lead to AIDS. Being older offers no protection. You are at greater risk of STDs if:

• You have more than one sex partner.
• You don't use condoms.
• You don't know your partner's drug or sexual history.
• You are female (women are twice as likely to get certain STDs when exposed to them than men).
• You have a weakened immune system.

Be older and wiser

At one time, your sexual past was your own business. Today, asking about a partner's sexual history should be expected. You may not be able to tell from looking at someone's genitals that he or she has an infection. After talking, you can judge whether a person has engaged in risky sexual behavior.

Don't be shy about asking your doctor about your STD risks and how to protect yourself. Your doctor may not bring up the subject unless you do.

In surveys, older adults often know less about STDs than younger people. In a study at Emory University of women over 50, a startling 63 percent replied wrongly that you could get HIV (the infection that leads to AIDS) from kissing. Only 13 percent in the study answered correctly that condoms were effective in preventing HIV.

Condoms are the best protection against STDs other than not having sex. Don't throw out condoms because pregnancy is no longer an issue. Even lesbians can get STDs from contact with another woman's body fluids, so they should use protection, too.

You're never too old for safe sex
You don't have to give up the pleasure of sex out of fear. You do need to be cautious and take safety measures.

• Choose mates carefully and be faithful to each other.
• Discuss your sexual histories, even if it feels uncomfortable.
• Has he or she shared needles for drugs (including insulin) or had a blood transfusion from 1978 to 1985?
• Has your partner had unprotected sex? Does he or she know the sexual history of past partners?
• Has he or she been tested for HIV? Ever had an STD?
• Use a latex condom for vaginal, oral or anal sex. If allergic to latex, use a polyurethane condom.
• Use water-based lubricants - not Vaseline or baby oil that can weaken condoms.
• For sex between two women, cover the genital area with a latex barrier to avoid contact with vaginal fluids - or use a female condom.
• Avoid sharing sex toys. If you do, clean them first in hot soapy water.

If you have an STD, don't have sex again until you and your partner are treated and clear of infection. If your STD is not curable, ask your doctor how you can best protect a partner when you are intimate.

Related Articles Cupid's Guide to Safe Sex How to Use a Condom Sexually Transmitted Diseases

External Sources American Association for Retired Persons. HIV over 50. Accessed June 13, 2007. The North American Menopause Society. Why safe sex is a menopause priority. Accessed June 13, 2007. National Institute on Aging. HIV, AIDS, and older people. Accessed June 13, 2007.

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