Living it Up in the Empty Nest

Sure is quiet around here, isn't it? The kids are gone and life suddenly seems very different. It's that old empty nest syndrome.

So what ARE you supposed to be feeling? A sense of devastation and loss? A feeling that an important part of your life has ended? Or should you be picking out the new paint and curtains for that suddenly empty bedroom?

Turns out that many women see this point in their lives as a new beginning. Researchers say the empty nest syndrome has become a myth. Although women do feel a sense of loss when their nests empty, they also see it as a chance to rebuild the architecture of their lives in positive ways. The empty nest is the forum for the next phase of life.

Women start thinking about going back to school or learning new hobbies. They travel. They rekindle the romance in their marriages. If you are like most women, you have a career to focus on. You have roles other than being a mother and wife.

Just because your child is no longer at home doesn't mean that the relationship has ended. In fact, your relationship will deepen as you get to know your child as an adult living independently. No longer do you have the tumultuous teen years. You can look forward to a satisfying friendship with your child. Plus those marvelous inventions known as e-mail and cell phones help fill in the gaps between holidays.

There's a tremendous sense of self-satisfaction and pride when you see your child succeed in the world, become independent and begin a career.

Here are some tips for dealing with this change in life.

• Teach your child some final lessons. Make sure your child knows how to write a check or has some basic cooking skills. Talk about dating safety and responsibility, and about home protection.
• Have a going-away party. This is a time of beginnings for you and your child. Give your child gifts like kitchen gadgets and cookbooks.
• Encourage your child to call you for anything. Be sure your child knows you are there.

This is a wonderful time in your life. Savor it. Bask in it. And then forge forward.

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External Source American Psychological Association

This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.

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