When Your Baby Has a Birth Defect

The first thing many new parents do when their baby is delivered is to count the child's fingers and toes. "Perfect!" is the joyful observation in most cases. Some parents will discover, however, that their infant has been born with a birth defect. The news can be difficult to take in.

Two percent of all babies are born with a significant birth defect. It may be recognized immediately at birth, or not for several more months or years. Birth defects include anything from mental retardation or deafness to a cleft palate or digestive disorder.

If your child has been born with a disability, learn what medical issues or lifestyle challenges you'll need to address. Your doctor can help you put together a team of specialists to evaluate your child and create a treatment plan. For some children, surgery or medication might be recommended right away. Other parents will be told to "wait and see" as their infant develops.

Social workers can link parents with support groups, educational resources, counselors, financial aid options, home health care and other needed services.

Take care of yourself
While you focus on your child, don't ignore your own feelings. Allow yourself to feel sad about not having the healthy child you were expecting. It's typical to feel overwhelmed and anxious about how to care for a child with special needs. You may also feel shock, numbness, disbelief, guilt, anger, sorrow, worry and fear.

Other parents offer this advice:

• Tell family and friends exactly what kind of help you need. You may need someone to help you with grocery shopping, to offer a sympathetic ear or to babysit your other child.
• Enjoy your child! Have fun playing, holding and hugging, and watching for first smiles or other milestones.
• Educate yourself about your child's condition. Ask your physician questions, read articles and books, and network with other parents.

Finding support
Family members and friends will take their cues from you. If you hide your pain, they'll assume that you don't want to talk about it. When you are ready to share your feelings, keep in mind that some people will be of greater comfort than others. Some will be too uncomfortable to share in your experience. Others may unknowingly make an insensitive comment.

Many parents join support groups to meet others who are facing the same or similar challenges. You can get meaningful encouragement and practical advice from people who know first-hand what you are going through.

Related Articles Fighting Birth Defects Amniocentesis Test Mom's Weight Can Be Big Risk for Baby Treat Yourself and Your Baby to a Glass of Folic Acid The 10 Commandments for Parents With Handicapped Children How Widespread Is Autism?

External Sources National Dissemination Center for Children With Disabilities. Finding help for young children with disabilities (birth-5). Accessed January 26, 2007. Family Health Administration, Maryland Dept. of Health and Mental Hygiene. Parenting the baby with a serious birth defect: you are not alone. Accessed January 26, 2007.

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